The Saga Begins
by Karrah Aretz
Summary: this is a future chapter of silent heartbeats but works as a stand alone. and it's a song fic. and humourous. and yes, I've been abducted by pod people.


The Saga Begins  
By Maureen  
  
Disclaimer: characters = Disney, song = Weird Al, story = me, profits = 0. Man, I have th short end of the stick! well, on with the fic  
  
This takes about 9 months after Silent Heartbeats begins and it is a chapter of Silent Heartbeats whenever I get this far. Assume it's chapter 20ish even though I haven't written 11-19 yet ;)   
  
***  
  
*Here Jamie,* Catie signed, handing him the shopping bag hanging off her arm. She had two bags with her, and he couldn't see inside them. All he knew was that they were going to a Halloween party at the station and she had picked the costumes.  
  
He opened his bag with mild trepidation, well, there was a medium sized pile of cloth, which meant no thongs. Hopefully.   
  
"I'd better not regret this," he told her, taking the clothing into the bathroom. She would be getting ready in his room, having told him that she will need more room and time to look just right.  
  
In the bathroom he pulled the cloths out and groaned. She didn't. She did. Damn her. If she weren't his girlfriend he'd be sorely tempted to refuse. Sighing he traded his jeans for the loose brown cloth and his t-shirt for the matching loose vest and Georgia clay colored sash.  
  
A long, long time ago  
In a galaxy far away  
Naboo was under an attack  
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn  
Could talk the federation into  
Maybe cutting them a little slack  
But their response, it didn't thrill us  
They locked the doors and tried to kill us  
We escaped from that gas  
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass  
We took a bongo from the scene  
And we went to Theed to see the Queen  
We all wound up on Tatooine  
That's where we found this boy...  
  
In the bed room Catie carefully applied the white base to her face and neck. As she was finishing, Jamie walked in, glaring at her. *You like?* shed asked, knowing fully well he didn't.  
  
*I am not going as Anakin Skywalker!* he signed furiously. Just because he had decided to grow his hair longer did not give her permission to do funky stuff to him!  
  
*You look cute though!* she replied, smiling. She picked up a small paintbrush and her red lipstick, painting on the telltale red rectangle on her lower lip showing she was going to be Queen Amidala.   
  
*This is a conspiracy!* Jamie complained, flopping onto his bed and turning on the TV. He steadfastly ignored Catie as she continued to apply her make up.  
  
You have no idea, love, Catie thought to herself, smiling slightly. Nearly an hour later she washed her hands and proclaimed she was finished. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled out a comb and a black hair tie. *Jamie, sit up* she ordered, getting to work on his hair. A minute later, he had a tiny ponytail behind his right ear. *Done!*  
  
*Are you ready then?* Jamie asked, looking at the time. It was nearly 7:00pm.   
  
*Yes,* Catie responded, fitting her headpiece on and making sure it was secure.   
  
Oh my my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
They took Catie's car to the station, meeting everyone else there. The station common room was decorated with orange and black balloons and streamers, fake cobwebs placed about the room. Everyone was in costume except for the on duty EMTs, who sported masks they could take off quickly in case of a call. *Anakin, Amidala! It's about time you got here!* Alex said, stepping out of his office. He was dressed as a young Obi-Wan Kenobi.   
  
*This is a joke,* Jamie said, his eyes widening in disbelief. It was a conspiracy!  
  
*No,* Alex replied, as Catie gripped her boyfriends shoulders turning him around, *This is.*   
  
Slowly Val, Hank, Tyler, and Brooke came in, signing *surprise!* All were dressed as Star Wars characters, Val as Princess Leia, Tyler as Han Solo and Hank was Lando Calrissian. Brooke, for her part was an E-wok.   
  
"Oh, my god!" Jamie exclaimed, sure that he had fallen into the twilight zone.  
  
Did you know this junkyard slave  
Isn't even old enough to shave  
And he can use the Force, they say  
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen  
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen  
Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday  
Well, I knew he built C-3PO  
  
"Why?" Jamie asked, sure, it was Halloween, but he was expecting a few lame games like bobbing for apple cores (much scarier than bobbing for apples) or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre playing on the TV. He was not expecting to fall into another dimension.   
  
*Happy birthday,* Brooke signed, picking up a box wrapped in Halloween paper.  
  
"My birthday?" Jamie said, confused. It wasn't for another week!  
  
And I've heard how fast his pod can go  
And we were broke, it's true  
So we made a wager or two  
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace  
And the minute Jabba started off that race  
Well, I knew who would win first place  
Oh yes, it was our boy  
  
*Open it, Anakin,* Alex said, steering Jamie to the couch. Opening Brooke's present he found a Star Wars poster signed by all his friends, even Faustus, the only one not present, had signed.   
  
Before he opened the next one, Faustus ran in minus his omnipresent glasses and dressed as Luke Skywalker. *Sorry,* he signed. /I got lost/ his signing was minimal at best, but playing video games didn't require hearing.   
  
*Here,* Val said, handing him another box. Inside was a Star Wars video game for his game boy. Jamie laughed, seeing where this was heading. From Hank and Tyler he received star wars boxers to which he was forced to reply "You two will never see me in them!"  
  
Faustus gave him a Wookie Furby that he had made by reprogramming another furby and finally Catie gave him a set of light sabers in green and red. *Thanks,* he said to all, and giving Catie a kiss. He wasn't expecting anything for his birthday and despite its weirdness, a nice surprise.   
  
*You forgot me,* Alex signed, handing over another box. Inside was an empty bottle of 'Qui-Gon-Gin'. *I ordered if off the Internet, and before you get any ideas, it came empty.*  
  
Jamie smiled, and pretended to drink it all down and get instantly drunk. He stood up shakily clutching the bottle and staggered about the room, aware that everyone was laughing at him, yelling mock orders to C3PO and R2-D2 to get him food and more gin. Since his trusty androids were absent from the party, Brooke and Val came out with the refreshments. True to form, they had ordered a Star Wars cake and had Star Wars paper plates and napkins.   
  
After eating, and lots of joking around, Jamie cleared his throat, "This is the nuttiest and bizarre good thing to ever happen to me, I think, and I want to say thank you to everyone. This will certainly be a party to remember."  
  
We started singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
*Pictures!* Catie both signed and exclaimed, ruining the mushy moment. She pulled out a camera and flagged a passing station worker over. Instantly all the girls and Alex had pulled out cameras and were trying to pose everyone for the camera.   
  
After what seemed like an eternity, they stopped posing. Ankakin and Amidala; Lando and Han; Anakin, Leia, Amidala, and Luke; Anakin and Obi-Wan, the list of pictures taken was seemingly endless.   
  
Now we finally got to Coruscant  
The Jedi Council we knew would want  
To see how good the boy could be  
So we took him there and we told the tale  
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale  
And he might fulfill that prophecy  
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course  
Could he bring balance to the Force?  
They interview the kid  
Oh, training they forbid  
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear  
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"  
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"  
"I still will teach this boy"  
  
"Let's go trick or treating!" Brooke suggested since Alex was the only one on duty and he wouldn't want t go anyways. They quickly threw the plates away and wrapping paper away and grabbed the plastic bags Brooke had brought to go trick or treating, despite being too old.   
  
The ran out into the chilly night, thankful that their costumes were long sleeved and thick. "Trick or treat!" they cried, at the first house they came too.   
  
"Well, aren't you a little old?" the man said who opened the door.   
  
"It's for charity sir, for the kids at the hospital who can't go trick or treating tonight," Catie replied quickly, keeping a straight face.   
  
"Well...alright," the man replied, handing out candy to the large group of teens.   
  
"Thank you," everyone chorused, running down the driveway.   
  
He was singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
"So what happened?" Jamie asked as everyone doubled up with laughter around him. Quickly Catie explained and Jamie too laughed briefly.   
  
"Catie!" Val admonished lightly, "That was terrible!"  
  
"Anything for the candy Val!" Catie replied, her eyes twinkling.   
  
We caught a ride back to Naboo  
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to  
I frankly would've liked to stay  
We all fought in that epic war  
And it wasn't long at all before  
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day  
And in the end some Gunguns died  
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried  
A lot of folks were croakin'  
The battle droids were broken  
And the Jedi I admire most  
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast  
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost  
I guess I'll train this boy  
  
"I want candy!" Jamie began to sing, loudly and while once he would have been on key was far from it now.  
  
"I want candy!" everyone sang, joining in, locking arms and doing the Wizard of Oz dance. It was a silly night and they were rapidly dematuring.   
  
The kids out trick or treating with their parents looked on and laughed while the parents frowned at how the older high schoolers were behaving.   
  
And I was singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
After they were too cold and achy to continue their hunt for candy they returned to the station. "We really should donate this," Hank said, looking at the massive pile on the floor of all their bags combined. Catie translated.  
  
"But it's candy!" Brooke cried, possessively. Catie nodded in agreement.  
  
"So not all of it, but it is a lot of candy,' Val said, comforting her younger sister. "We'll all pick out a couple pieces we want and then donate the rest."  
  
They agreed and soon all the candy bars had been fought over and claimed and Brooke had a small bag to take home with her. Catie took most of the gum, claiming it was better it rot her teeth than a kid in the hospital. As shaky as her logic was, nobody contested it. They still had a considerable pile of candy left over. Scooping it into the remaining bags, Hank went to get permission to take 'Speed Racer' the old and rarely used rig over to the hospital to give it to the kids. It was so slow now that they couldn't respond to a call if they had wanted to. Alex consented, stressing that if anything happened it was on their heads.   
  
We were singin' ...  
My my this here Anakin guy  
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry  
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye  
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"  
  
They piled in, the van not meant to carry seven people and were soon inching their way to the hospital. Okay, so it wasn't that slow, but it seemed to be. Once in pediatrics they got permission to pass the candy out to the unhappy kids, making them feel better. It was midnight by the time they finished playing with the kids and got back to the station. "Man," Jamie said in the passenger seat of Catie's car, "This has been the most awesome birthday yet."  
  
*Shut up, Anakin!* Catie signed, kissing him.   
  
  
A/N: everyone in this is approx 1 yr older, so Brooke is 13, Catie is 17, etc.   
There really is a website 'selling' stars wars liquor which includes 'qui-gon gin'. Also, this is a response to Ironberries challenge J there was a floating apple core mentioned! And why did I pick Star Wars? Simple, it has lots of characters and merchandise, the song fit AND it was funny!! 


End file.
